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lyrics

“ABSENTEE”
by William J. Lever

I don't care for people who don't care for me.
People who don't see the points as to why I'm not just right where they want me.
That I'm not who they want me to be.
All the while they have these troubles, these troubles near as tall as mine.
But even when theirs comes to tower over them they can't find it in themselves to sympathize with mine.
Change! You bark.
Change! You bark again.
How can I accomplish alone what you were helped to achieve?
You won't answer, you won't care.
Because it's not your problem, you say you love me but how?
When you can't be bothered to lift a finger to lift me up to the level of the status quo you expect of me.

If I can't be myself, and being who you want is out of question.
Then who I am I?
What purpose do I serve?
It's easy for you to place blame but you never helped me along.

Is it my fault?
I was left abandoned by my mother at three while yours made sure to tuck you in by ten? Hospitalized, force-fed medication after medication for some problem they swore I had.
As if loneliness is a disease.
All my life, the throwaway boy with his head in the clouds.
Like the cookie jar on the corner table top
Chasing dreams, you always said were too far up to reach.
Dreaming for something better than this.
Anything's better than this.

credits

from Home Is Where The Heart Rots, released October 23, 2020

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Incandesca Old Town, Maine

Incandesca (named for the word incandescent, meaning “full of strong emotion; passionate”) began as a studio adventure between two best friends with a passion for metal music; song-writer Chris Lyons and vocalist Billy Lever.

The project is in ever active metamorphosis. ... more

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